Good Parenting Usually Means Doing A lot much less

Sneak peek: We hear rather a lot about what “good parenting” means. These tidbits usually take care of what we must be doing additional of (additional building, additional steering, additional pointers). Nevertheless what if some side of positive parenting entails doing a lot much less?

In case you’ve been finding out this weblog for a while, you perceive that I’m an enormous fan of podcasts. They’re a great way to spark new ideas. (Properly, as a minimum most of the ones I take heed to; not the true crime ones 😉). 

The other day I was listening to one amongst my favorite podcasts, Hidden Thoughts. The customer was talking regarding the idea of gasoline and friction. I just about turned it off because of I assumed it had nothing to do with topics I’m interested in like good parenting, psychology or human conduct.

Appears, I was glad I saved listening. On the ground, the thought appeared to principally relate to promoting and advertising — how some firms try and attraction to you to get you to buy one factor by making the product look very fascinating. They add all these emotional reason you should purchase it, and so forth and so forth.

What if “good parenting” seems to be like completely completely different?

The customer speaker talked about what usually firms miss is the considered friction — that part of getting any individual to buy one factor or do what you want them to do is to cut back the amount of friction that is impeding them from doing (or purchasing for) it. 

This concept was truly fascinating to me because of it could presumably apply to so many different areas of life.

How can we methodology an issue or a problem? Will we try and gasoline it by giving it additional attraction, additional power, and further emotional resonance?

Or can we methodology it from an issue of lowering friction? That is, can we attempt to take away any limitations which can impede any individual from doing the issue we want them to do?

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That’s the precept idea: gasoline versus friction. Will we do additional to encourage any individual to do what we want them to do or can we do a lot much less and as a substitute take care of eradicating limitations?

How does this relate to parenting? After I used to be listening to the podcast, what saved coming to my ideas time and again was this may apply to so many parenting circumstances.

Consider most of the parenting advice that you just hear in the marketplace — it’s all about gasoline.

How do I encourage my infant to do what I would love them to do?

– Arrange a plan. Have reminders and routines in place to encourage your infant to do irrespective of you’re asking.

– Make it fascinating. You may also make the issue that you just’re trying to get them to do additional fascinating. You may also make it satisfying or pleasurable.

Okay, all these points may very well be good ideas, correct? Consider trying to encourage your infant to arrange on time inside the morning and by no means dawdle. You might put charts spherical the house to level out what order points need to be achieved in in any other case you wake them up earlier so that they’ve additional time to get points achieved.

These points can all work nevertheless what if we utterly flipped the script? What if as a substitute of trying in order so as to add gasoline, we merely diminished the friction?

What within the occasion that they laid all their garments, backpack, and plenty of others. out the night time time sooner than? What if we even deliberate or made breakfast (collectively) the night time time sooner than? Which may truly cut back numerous friction because of there are so many fewer decisions to make.

Lowering friction to encourage cooperation

There are quite a few examples of this lowering friction to encourage our kids to cooperate:

– Encouraging youngsters to eat additional healthily. In case you’re like me, you find yourself on the retailer and also you proceed to buy points like goldfish crackers and granola bars and points that you simply perceive is not going to be the healthiest and persons are all the points which could be sitting inside the pantry. What if we merely surrender purchasing for these points and as a substitute, after they arrive residence from faculty, an infinite tray of fruit and veggies was sitting out or the makings for a healthful snack cheese and crackers or smoothies?

I do know this can probably sound all “pie inside the sky” wishful pondering nevertheless I’ve seen variations in my picks along with my youngsters’ picks after I merely don’t let certain meals enter the house.

– Encouraging youngsters to study additional (or the least bit!). I really feel many individuals want our kids to study additional. My youngsters will hardly select up a e-book voluntarily. Nevertheless guess what? If I depart a e-book on the breakfast desk, 9 events out of 10 they will as a minimum open it and check out it, notably if it has an fascinating cowl. Usually, that’s all it takes to get them started finding out it.

In truth, this is not a great decision to each little factor. Nevertheless I’ve found myself discovering an growing variety of strategies whereby I can merely try and cut back the friction as a substitute of trying in order so as to add gasoline to get my youngsters to cooperate. In case you attempt it, let me know! I’d like to hearken to your examples and tales.